Recommendations for Virtual Mentoring

• Frame it as an opportunity. Think about being in a virtual mentoring program as an opportunity to grow in your virtual mentoring skills.  Wherever you work, you will be meeting virtually regularly with team members, collaborators, and stakeholders from many different parts of the world.  Building your skills by being part of a virtual mentoring relationship will serve you well as in a post-COVID world, interacting virtually will only become more common.
• Deliberately build in ways to connect personally. Build in some time at the beginning of each meeting to get to know each other.  Be sure to check in that everything is going okay.  Remember that “life happens” and sometimes other responsibilities can, temporarily, derail plans for a meeting.  Be responsive to what is going on with that other person, but balance it with respecting their privacy.  Share a little of what is going on in your life. Building in relationship time isn’t wasted time.  The more you know about someone, the more effectively and efficiently you will move the mentoring relationship forward.      
• Try to simulate face-to-face meetings. It is more difficult to forge personal connections in virtual meetings.  But it can be done!  You just have to be patient.  There are several ways to make it more enjoyable for everyone.  Encourage the use of video.  Interacting with a face is better than interacting only with a name in a bubble on the screen.  But make it clear that if someone has reasons not to (i.e., bandwidth issues, a chaotic day with lots of people in the background walking through their background, etc.), they shouldn’t have to.
• Developing relationships online. Be patient and allow trust in the mentoring relationship to slowly build.  Research has shown that it simply takes longer as compared to meeting in person.  You can’t force it, and it is more difficult without face-to-face meetings to gauge someone else’s integrity, ethics, and temperament.  But as you prove your reliability, accessibility, and interest, the mentoring relationship will grow. 
• Worry about being misinterpreted. If you are being sarcastic or kidding, make sure not to be subtle as virtually it may be missed and the other person may take you seriously.  Or explain that you are being sarcastic if you worry they aren’t getting it.  Even adding a “kidding aside” or something like that is helpful.  Or simply refrain from it until you have a relationship established and know they will ‘get it’ and not take what you say literally. 

• Remember to Keep it Short. Virtual meetings are exhausting.  We aren’t wired for it.  For example, everyone has experienced "Zoom Fatigue" when meeting with someone; you suddenly realize that you haven't been listening to the other person because you were watching something (squirrel!) outside your window!  So mentoring meetings should be shorter, but more frequent, so you can avoid feeling fatigued. Or try to create a dialogue or some way to keep it interactive.  In short, it is best if you 1. switch off asking and answering questions and 2. meet more frequently but for a shorter period of time.