The Pros and Cons of Mentoring
When reflecting on one's past mentoring experiences, probably everyone can recall when it went well, and why, and when it didn't go so well, and why. However, it helps to know more about how to maximize the benefits and minimize the costs of being in a mentoring relationship. Here are some resources to help you think more about mentoring and, more generally, working well with others.
CONSIDER THIS ANALOGY FROM A NATURALIST ON MENTORING:
In "The Mentors Guide by Lois Zachary (2000), there is a great analogy for mentoring. When trees start growing again in a forest where there were trees before, the roots of the trees that went before help to strengthen the roots of the trees now growing. The trees now growing end up having stronger and deeper roots. Consequently, these trees are better able to help younger trees that are growing nearby because their stronger and more extensive root system helps the root system of these younger trees to grow strong.
WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF BEING A MENTOR DISCUSSED IN THE MENTOR'S GUIDE?
Reflection:
The habit of critical reflection when mentoring can be internalized and carry over to additional aspects of one's life, enriching and bringing more satisfaction to other relationships and activities.
Renewal:
The enthusiasm and excitement of one's mentee can give a renewed sense of purpose and a boost of energy to one's own work and life.
CONSIDER THE MOST COMMONLY REPORTED REASONS WHY MENTORING FAILS:
See below from in Further Investigation of Protégés’ Negative Mentoring Experiences Patterns and Outcomes by Eby and Allen (2002) the most common reasons people have negative mentoring experiences.
Negative Mentoring Experiences - Highest Mean Percentage Reported Frequency to Lowest:
- Bad fit/mismatched values
- Mismatched personalities
- Mismatched workstyles
- Distancing behavior/Exclusion
- Neglect
- Self-absorption *
- Manipulative behavior
- Abuse of power
- Credit taking *
- Sabotage
- Overt deceit
- Don't have the expertise needed *
- Interpersonally lacking
- Bad attitude/dysfunctional person
- Personal problems
* Highest reported "Very Frequently to Almost Always" frequencies
VIDEOS TO WATCH AND DISCUSS WITH MENTEE
- Forget the pecking order at work by Margaret Heffernan (with some great thoughts about emphasizing “fika”--collective restoration-- time to achieve high performing teams that trust and support each other):
- Failure and the importance of mentors by Patrick Boland (TedxYouth@TheSpire): This video begins by talking about an evolutionary biologist called William Muir and his study on chickens, but what it will teach you about teaming and productive work is well worth the 15 minutes
- 5 ½ Mentors that will change your life by Doug Stewart (with some interesting analogies for the types of mentors we all need)
- How to overcome our biases? Walk boldly toward them by Vera Myers